Terrorskull Conference Kicks Off its Inaugural Season

Three out of four scheduled matches were played this past Tuesday to mark the beginning of the Loyalist City Blood Bowl League's first season, and specifically the Terrorskull Conference's first day of sorts carnage. This Eastern half of the LCBBL promises brutal action and strong fundamental play, assuming your idea of fundamentals is centered around physical violence instead of necessarily scoring points.

Unfortunately, one of our teams was eliminated from contention before even getting to play a single game. On their way to meet the Bonesmoor Ravens for their match, an unknown Orc team was completely lost when their caravan attempted to cross a rickety bridge over a deep chasm. The bridge gave out, and the full compliment of players, coaches, cheerleaders, medical staff, traveling fans, and assorted innocent bystanders fell into the gap, never to be seen again. Perhaps one or two survived to found an Underworld league? We may never know. As a result of the tragedy, the Bonesmoor Ravens were awarded the win and the spoils. Luckily for us, there were three more games to sate our appetite for destruction this day.

The first game to successfully begin saw the Winterplague Embalmers, an Undead squad from the frozen northern reaches of the world, face the Ogreland Raydurzz, a team of Ogres and Snotlings from the cratered wastelands. The game began poorly for the Raydurzz, as the opening drive was punctuated by a skull flying out of the stands and smacking Ogre Bill Tinfoul square in the forehead, sending the big fella down for a short nap.With the Raydurzz already at a disadvantage, the Embalmers set their running offense in motion as ghoul runner John Hellway scooped up the ball and made his way over midfield. The Raydurzz attempted to fill the game left by Tinfoul's spontaneous close-up encounter with the pitch by sending Snotlings in to take his place. This did not go so well. Lucky made strides to plug up the line of scrimmage, but tripped and pinched a nerve. He was followed to the infirmary by teammate Thumbs, who suffered a fractured leg after a collision by the Embalmers' team captain, the ghoul Tomb Brady. With the Ogre defense in disarray, Hellway made great strides to the end zone and scored the first touchdown in the league's history, but not before another Snotling, this time the luckless Ooozze, slipped in a pile of Ogre spit and broke his little neck.

On the ensuing kickoff, a parade of stretchers began carrying numerous knocked out players to their sidelines, with Ogre Rollin Thunder turning Zombie Dreg Bumble's lights out. This was followed by Snotling Wheels tossing a teeny, tiny pass to teammate Chuck, who regrettably fell down and went boom, and was dragged away to the recovery room. Undead Wight Dante Sinferno followed up by clobbering Fumbler, and another Snotling was bound for a pile of hay and a nose full of smelling salts. In the dying seconds of the half, Ghoul Ben Rottensburger got a hold of the ball and lobbed it to Troy Achemoan, but time ran out before the Undead could score again.

The second half started well for the Raydurzz as the recently-awoken Fumbler tossed a pass to his good friend Squish, who then handed it off to Wheels. Snotling spirits were high until Rowdy Rotty Pulper, one of the Embalmers' towering Mummies, soundly stomped Crazy into a mushy paste beneath his heavy foot. Truly, Crazy died how he had lived. After a bout of pushing and shoving, the ball popped loose from Wheels' grasp, and John Hellway once again gained possession. Things were going well for Hellway - the Ogres even seemed to be having a little group nap. A committee of Snotlings managed to bring him down along the sidelines, however, and the ball flew into the stands. It seemed as though the Embalmers had a little extra "talent" up there, because the throw-in went directly to Dante Sinferno and the drive continued. Troy Achemoan helped clear the way by sending Sprinkles the Snotling to the infirmary, and as Sinferno rolled into the end zone, the game devolved (or evolved, depending upon your point of view) into a brawl full of fouls and punches, Notably with Ben Rottensburger injuring Snotling Aaahhs, Heeve Ho the Ogre booting Zombie Cruddy Lunge in the head, and Fluddy Ditch being tossed for trying to knee-drop Bill Tinfoul. The final score was 2-0 for the Winterplague Embalmers.

MVPs of the match were Will Blitz of the Raydurzz, and Dante Sinferno of the Embalmers, who displayed astonishing speed throughout the game.

We'll be back soon with coverage of the other two matches.