A gorgeous day for Blood Bowl saw the Araby Falcons and the Tri-City Theropod Thrashers compete for a trip to the Terrorskull Conference championship, and by the end of the day (literally, they would up playing under the lights), a victor was named. The lizardmen had a few more fans on hand than the humans, though we suspect that this was the result of skinks standing on one another's shoulders and masquerading as a rather lean saurus, and paying only one admission fee. The Falcons would win the coin toss and receive first.
The kickoff was punctuated by some very inspired yelling from the Falcons' sideline. Human throwing sensation Mathius Ice gathered up the ball with what have become known as the "most valuable hands in sports" and passed it off to the always-dangerous Arthur Jaris Green, who scorched a line through the Thrashers secondary and down the sideline towards the goal. The skink runners of the Thrashers were quick to react, however, and they bottled up the human catcher quickly. Seeing no way around, Green decided to go through, but things didn't work out as planned. Green botched the hit and tumbled to the earth, and the ball wound up in the stands. Some eager Falcons fan lobbed it to the Thrashers' end zone, but it didn't stay there long, as the smooth-running LL Coolblooded J got a hold of it and went running back up the field.
After J got across midfield, he was set upon by the regrouped humans, and lost the ball after a blitz from the newly acquired Aldai Peterson. Barda Urlacker made a move to recover the discarded ball, but couldn't rein in the unruly rock. Unfortunately for the Thrashers, saurus Jay-Zilla also tried to pick up the ball, despite the agility-based shortcomings of his species. Luckily, right behind him was the much more dextrous skink, Method Slaan, who showed us all how it's done. Jay-Zilla gave his colossal head a shake and got back to looking for humans to stomp, and Method Slaan slinked his way into the end zone to open the scoring for the lizardmen.
Quickly shaking off the previous sequence, the Falcons went right back to work on the next kickoff. Quickly starting the play before the Thrashers could settle in, they put together a picture-perfect play which started with new catcher Legs Jennings handing the ball off to Mathius Ice, and Ice launching it to his favorite target, Arthur Jaris Green. Taken completely off guard, the lizardmen could only watch as Green high-stepped into the end zone before time expired, to tie the game.
When play resumed, the lizardmen were right back to work, getting some sound coaching advice from their own sideline. Skink 2 Scalez got his claws on the ball and handed off deftly to Method Slaan. The saurus corps were much more checked-in this time around, led by the hulking Ghostface Gila who sent human lineman Zane Mangold down for an involuntary nap. The way was made clear for Method Slaan, and before you could say "leaping lizards", the wily little fellow was in the end zone and the Thrashers had regained the lead.
On the ensuing kickoff, human #2 thrower Marcus Sanchez proved exactly why is is #2, failing first to catch the high, lazy kick sent his way, then botching a routine pickup immediately afterwards. Eventually he did manage to settle down and collect the ball, and fired a pass to Mathius Ice without further incident. Ghostface Gila was immediately on the scene once more, tracking right into Ice with a great deal of momentum and sending the ball squirting free. Not phased in the slightest, Mathius Ice calmly hustled back to the ball and launched it to - you guessed it - Arthur Jaris Green.
The small, speedy skinks wasted no time in getting into Green's face once more, and LL Coolblooded J made the hit that knocked the ball free once more. Right behind Green, however, was Barda Urlacker with a head full of steam, knocking lizards aside like scaly bowling pins and picking the ball up one-handed in passing, leaping into the end zone to tie the game and save the humans' post-season dreams.
With scant time remaining, the humans kicked the ball away to the lizardmen, but used their impressive mobility to adapt their defensive formation perfectly to the Thrashers' plans. Mucklemore managed to get the ball and hand it forward to 2 Scalez, but any hope of winning in regulation was dashed when the way through the line was blocked off by the humans. To make matters worse for the lizardmen, #1 saurus Notorious L.I.Z. was felled with a huge block by Jarin Jarin Watts, a wound that would require at least a couple of weeks to recover from. Time expired, and fans clamored and cheered for overtime.
Jarin Jarin Watts got hold of the ball and was making great progress until the enraged and seemingly ubiquitous Ghostface Gila laid him out with a crushing overhand chop. Watts went to the quiet room, while LL Coolblooded J went to the ball. Within moments, the skilled skink went right to the end zone, and the Thrashers took the lead for the third time in the game.
Another high kick by the Thrashers saw Legs Jennings field the ball cleanly, and the rookie handed it off expertly to Arthur Jaris Green, who charged down the field, flanked by a trio of human blitzers. Once again, a swarm of skinks surged towards the catcher, and once again the heap of reckless reptiles ripped the ball from Green's arms. Righting himself, Green scrambled to recover the lost ball, but couldn't get through the mess of skinks. The skinks, though, couldn't make any more sense of it themselves, and missed a chance of their own to claim the precious ovoid. With one last lunge, knowing that the season was on the line, Arthur Jaris Green rolled through the oppressive coverage, scooped up the ball, and dove for the corner post to tie the game again!
Exhaustion hung in the air like a Nurgle team's body odor. Still, both sides lined up to set the ball in play again. This time, receiving the ball was Chameleonaire, handing the ball off to Method Slaan to get the offense moving. The lizardman line did their part, starting with Snoop Trog knocking out Barda Urlacker to create a gap. Method Slaan then charged forward, intending to plow his way through Arthur Jaris Green, but Green stood tall and the skink simply bounced off of him, the ball squirting free. Mathius Ice was on the scene to pick it up, but fatigue had taken its toll on the skilled thrower, and he could do little more than bat it away.
Snoop Trog continued clearing the field by shoving Eddar Reed into the stands, where he was miraculously unharmed. Aldai Peterson threw a shot at Method Slaan, and though it connected, the skink hung off the human's arm on the follow-through and fell right onto the ball. The ball, in turn, bounced out of play, and someone - perhaps the displaced Urlacker? - lobbed it down deep into Thrashers territory. Desperate to reclaim it, Mathius Ice scrambled towards the ball, but only succeeded in falling down some more. With a final effort, Ice crawled through a swarm of skinks, flailed his arm at the ball and sent it bounding towards Legs Jennings before collapsing, stunned, on the field.
The moon was rising as triple overtime was marked on the scoreboard. 2 Scalez chugged forward and dropped Legs Jennings, leaving the ball free once more. Kanye Crest made an attempt at picking it up, but no such luck was to be had. No, only the strangest of plays would work under the moonlight. Cassius Matthews of the Falcons ran up to grab the ball and tackle Kanye Crest, but the hit failed to connect, and Matthews wound up kicking the ball right to the skink! In a panic, Crest ran down the field, only to be dropped by a hit from Marcus Sanchez. The ball flew free, and landed right in Sanchez's outstretched hand.
With time expiring and the game in his hands, Sanchez threw a perfect spiral pass to who else by Arthur Jaris Green. Green bolted away from coverage, and as time finally ran out, he crossed the goal line. The day was won for the Araby Falcons, in what was easily the most exciting game in the young history of the LCBBL. The Falcons will advance to play the Winterplague Embalmers in the conference final. See you there!
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